gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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