So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
