Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
