Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
