Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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