I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
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He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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