Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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