Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
