the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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