Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
