im drinking this country out of the recession.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
