Who wears a wallet chain?!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize