oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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