Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
