grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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