i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
