can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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