some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You took a bar mat shot.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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