he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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