32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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