I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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