I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
