Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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