his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
