You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
