Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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