so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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