If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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