I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices