I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
