that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
