Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Rumble strips road head = magical
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.