Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
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those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
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I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity