I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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