Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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