separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize