Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are these your boobs on my camera?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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