So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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