Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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