Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
NoShamevember. You game?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
