also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
