He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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