He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize