Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
