if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
