I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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