Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You need a sexual gate keeper
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
