Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
