I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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