White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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