My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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