Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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