oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
