I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
