She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize