My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
