I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
