marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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