Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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