I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
