We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
