I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
