i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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