she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
