capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
