my mouth tastes like poor choices
another moral hangover. fuck.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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