Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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