You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I enjoy the company of your penis
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
