you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
